In Uncategorized on May 29, 2012 at 11:00 pm
My mom and sisters take Zumba classes on Wednesdays, and always pleasantly invite me to come along.
I sternly reply “NO” and go back to eating spaghetti on the couch.*
I don’t hate exercising, and I’m not a fatty fat fat.
This is my bone to pick:
It has a LOGO.
I don’t like that.
Frosted Flakes has a logo. Batteries have logos. And plenty of other things that you buy and eventually run out and/or stop working.
I feel like I will run out of Zumba, or like it won’t really help my body.
I feel like it wants me to trust it, and I feel like it should just be natural and that it’s moving way to fast for me.
It feels like a horny crummy boy you meet at a skating rink.
* I eat Spaghetti on Wednesdays nights often.
In Uncategorized on May 21, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I’m trying this new thing where I focus on removing all negative connotations from my thinking and speaking… period.
It’s not as easy as you’d think. For example saying “It’s not as easy as you’d think” is actually a negative connotation.
To make this easier, I’ve been reversing all negative thoughts before even speaking them, which actually benifits my daily routine.
“It’s not as easy as you’d think” when reversed = “This will be a stimulating challenge to overcome.”
Or, instead of pointing out something you don’t like about a person, just don’t mention it. Mention the things you do like, and keep what you don’t like to yourself . Also, try saving it for an up-building discussion where you can add this thought in a more positive way in an ultimate attempt to help yourself and others to be better people.
Try it too, if you’re interested!
In Uncategorized on May 9, 2012 at 11:59 pm
Did you guys know that “Shoot to Thrill” was the best song ever?
Because I didn’t. I just found out.
I ran 10 minutes in 5 minutes on the elliptical with it playing today.
I just want to share it with the world.
In Uncategorized on May 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm
I went to L.A recently.
While there, I purchased what is undisputably the world’s best sweater.
I put it in the national competion for Best Sweaters and it won.
Kidding, there’s no such thing. (so i’ve been told.)
Anywho, sometimes it gets really cold at night in L.A so I got the sweater to keep me warm.
It’s awesome, grey, loose and awesome.
Despite it’s awesomeness, I managed to leave it in California when I headed back to the East Coast.
I felt like such an idiot jerk, because I was cold and uncool.
I thought my life was over.
My good friend Britney is visiting from L.A and she bought the sweater with her! Yeah!
I couldn’t have been happier.
I could’ve been happier if she bought the sweater back being worn by Robert Downey Jr.
That’s niether here nor there.
I was elated, and promised never to leave the sweater ever ever again.
I left it at my friend Caitlin’s two days later. Haven’t seen it since.
In Uncategorized on May 7, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Lately, everything I’ve been reading has been saying “Be careful not to isolate yourself.”
I’ve been putting my hand on my hip and saying “you be careful not to isolate yourself” in a condescending voice.
Talking back to inanimate objects can sometimes build confidence.
Be careful not to do it in front of a train full of people, though.
I have no idea what that’s like.
In Uncategorized on May 2, 2012 at 4:02 am
I have a Michael Kors Bag.
I think it’s really nice, and I ripped the MK off because…I just did.
Yesterday, I was rushing out of the house after eating dinner, but I was still thirsty.
I grabbed a capri sun from the kitchen and threw it in my bag.
other items in the bag:
4 pieces of fruity trident.
some transit cards.
the ripped off MK.
I had a fun night, and forgot about the Capri Sun.
When I went into my bag for my keys while on the way home, everything was soaking wet and reeked of tropical fruit punch.
The Capri Sun had burst all over my belongings.
and this is why I am not yet fancy enough for a MK bag.
alternate ending: and this is why I should quit putting Capri Suns in my Bag.
P.S: alternate endings usually suck.
In Uncategorized on May 1, 2012 at 10:18 pm
I’ve been having an affair with Corona.
I’m not cheating on any other beverage; I’m using ‘affair’ in its true essence as a word.
The English language and its quips.
I usually get home afterwards and look in the mirror and wonder if a super belly or doughy skin bags will appear onto my thin frame, on account of my 2 beers a night.
This has only happened 3 nights- nonconsecutive.
I tend to project things to be worse than they actually are, in order to prevent from further abuse or disregard.
I’ll let you guys know if the affair subsides, or if i turn into Homer Simpson.